“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.”

- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

"Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice."

- Anonymous

"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

-Anonymous

"There are no facts, only interpretations."

- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life, unless Jay Leno wants to do it, too."

- Conan O'Brien (b.1963)

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."

- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"Men are more ready to repay an injury than a benefit because gratitude is a burden and revenge a pleasure."

- Tacitus (ca. 56 – ca. 117)

"Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car."

— G.K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)

"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."

— Phyllis Diller (b. 1917)

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

— Dr. Seuss (1904-1991)

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing."

— Phyllis Diller (b. 1917)

"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."

- Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back')

"For most of history, Anonymous was a woman."

— Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)

"If you are going through hell, keep going."

- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)